My apologies  / Everyday Visitor
I would like to clarify my condolence because I certainly didn't mean to come across in a negative way.  I do visit this site everyday and I truly have missed hearing from the family and seeing pics of Mattie, etc.  I said that I understood that you all were trying to get on with your lives but still I would like to hear from you.  Please forgive me for coming across in a hurtful manner because that was certainly not my intention.  I have thought about this and when another visitor called my condolence negative I knew I had to try and clear this up. I have been through the horror of losing someone which is still raw to me.  I could never have been as strong as you have been Jane and with all the other tragdies in your life I just could not have endured what you have.  Please accept my apologies and I wish nothing but good things for you in the future.  I hope you get everything you deserve in life.  Close

All the time visitor  / Kim Mattox (None)

Jane, I just want you to know I feel your presence everytime I visit this site.  I have been visiting before Matti was born and I always feel the love you have for Matt and for your other children.  No matter what anyone says.  People need to understand you have other obligations and that does not mean you neglect this site.  I believe you put your heart and soul into this website and it shows it is just a beautiful site to visit.  I just wanted to give you some positive feedback instead of negative.  By the way you handled that negative posting very well. 

I also vote almost daily for Matt's website on  Forever teen Angels

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HIS FAMILY IS ALWAYS HERE  / Jane Jones (Mother)
I know you probably didn't mean it like it sounded when you labeled this where is his family.  Obviously you have never been through something like this so I am going to respond.  We are here everyday, we may not light a candle or write anything but we hear his voice and look at his pictures.  There is an updated picture of Matti on here and I will put some more on here when I get the time.  This is a precious site that takes hours and hours to plan and work on to get it right.  It is not something thrown together it comes from my heart.  I work 11 hours a day, try to spend as much time as I can with Matti, my children and my fiance' so I don't have a lot of time sometimes.  I want to update it but right now I am thinking about how I want the next layout to be so when I decide to do it I will until then I come here for comfort of my son.  There is NEVER a day I don't relive this whether I go on with my life or not.  The next time you would like to know something though try emailing me through this site and give me your name if you have become to think of us as your family.

Missing my son today and everyday,
Jane Close

Where is his family?  / Everyday Reader
Please respond to this e-mail.  Let us readers know how things are going with the family and put some recent pics of Matti on the site.  As an everyday reader I feel I have lost part of my own family by not hearing from you at least once in a while.  I'm sure you are trying to get on with your lives but you have made many friends that want and need to know how you are.  Close

just keeping in touch  / Pamela Brough (passer by on site )
hi to all the family just a short message from england again saying your still in my thoughts and hope matti the baby is still doing well would love to see pictures of her now keep smiling Close

Remember / Curious (passerby)
Wish you would post recent pics of Mattie.  I would like to see how she is growing up and looking more and more like her dad.  When will the next court date be for Mike Hill?  I have been keeping up with this site ever since you started it and you all have become like family.  I miss hearing from you all. Close

Curious / Everyday Visitor (passerby)
When will you be posting the results of your visit with Shawn? Close

just keeping up to date  / Pamela Brough (passer by on site )
its been a few months since i been on the site but was relieved to read someone had seen justice and sent this person to jail for this murder i hope your all keeping well this site is keeping him alive hope you dont mind me keeping in touch cause some how dont think matt would mind too much hope everyone involved in this murder gets what they deserve its just a pity this world does not do life for a life xx Close

Not Fair  / Eileen Duncan (mother of Amanda Kates murdered 6-8-06 )

The guy that pled guilty to murdering my daughter at the precious age of 21 was only given 15-40 and 10-20 for shooting her fiance to run consecutively....now this asshole wants me to come visit him, he sends me letters which violates a no contact order.  I know how you feel and where you are....why our children....and why is the justice system so leinient on them and treats the victims as more of criminals then the ones that took our children away..I have something that I am going to add that was sent to me....it is below...and remember I am here should you need to talk.

♦ Unless you have lost a child, no you don’t understand my pain, so please do not say so. Even family and friends, as much as they loved your child, still have no idea what the parent is going through.

♦ Event’s such as weddings, anniversaries, holiday, birthdays, and other events and gatherings are incredibly hard to deal with, and may be for months, years, possibly forever. Never judge, or become impatient. The grieving parents know when they are ready for events such as this. Family and friends need to be understanding, and realize life as it was before the child died, no longer exists. Therefore you will find grieving parents no longer wish to celebrate as they did in the past when their child was alive. New traditions are often made, as the old ones are too hard to continue on with. Some may choose to not celebrate at all.

♦ The day that your loved ones child died, the parents life as they knew It died too. Life will never be the same for the family, especially for the parents, so don’t expect It too be.

♦ Grief is an individual process. There is no right or wrong way. No time limit, and the grieving parent will never get over it.

♦ People may expect that grief will lessen in an orderly fashion when, especially for parents of deceased children, grief often worsens over time or recurs, dramatically and painfully, years after the loss.

♦ Grief counseling, therapy, and support groups are statistically not a commonly used option for grieving parents. If needed they are very useful, but again, each parent will grieve differently. Outside help is often found in friends, family, or the community. Do not insist your loved one seeks outside help.

♦ Respecting a grieving parents wishes when decisions are to be made surrounding the deceased child, is crucial! Many parents feel all they have left is the planning of their child’s funeral, choosing where their child will be laid to rest, and planning and attending events scheduled in honor of their child. Often family members feel they are experiencing a great loss too, and feel left out, but unfortunately the grieving parents wishes and needs must come first. Others must respect those decisions.

♦ A change in a grieving parents personality is normal, and can be permanent. It is normal for depression to set in, and is only dangerous if it is having profound affects on their personal life. Example, no longer able to work due to lack of sleep or interest, substance abuse, physically harming themselves or others, noticeable decrease in personal hygiene and care for other children, no longer wanting to be with spouse. A drop in mood, or energy is not something to be alarmed by.

♦ Family members should not look to the grieving parent for support. Loved ones often feel helpless and alone and forgotten about after a child in the family has passed away. Grief is one of the #1 stressors an individual can endure in their lifetime, especially when it involves losing a child. Turn to other family members for support. Often times the grieving parent does not want to talk, and will want to be left alone, mainly due to added stress when exposed to the demand of family and friends.

♦ The grieving parent needs support, respect, and understanding. It is crucial that family and friends shelter their loved ones from any unnecessary stress and trauma if at all possible. It is unfortunately rather common for persons in the grieving process to be the victim of sudden illness, as serious as a heart attack, or even death due to the level of stress.

♦ Family and friends may have to step in and help care for any children, such as siblings of the deceased child. Caring for young children during the initial stages of the grieving process can be nearly impossible at times.


♦ It is said that in a time such as this, the loss of ones child, it will quickly be made apparent who is going to be supportive and who is not. This is the hardest event your loved one will most likely endure in their lifetime, and it is often difficult for others to understand and continue to stay supportive. Remember, the grieving parent will never be able to put into words what they are feeling, so except that you will never understand, and decide if you are able to still be supportive.

♦ Their child may have passed away, but they are still that child’s parent.

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You should have been here with us  / Jane Jones (mom)
Your brother had his going away party this weekend and of course the biggest thing missing was you.  We will never get use to having family functions without you.  You were always the life of the party with your jokes and smiles.  We miss that so much.  i do want you to know though that your sisters have learned to fill your shoes pretty well.  They were doing karoke and you know singing is not one of our best traits.  It was so funny, Gerald and I were dying laughing.  Your friends were there to support Rick for you which I thought was so sweet.  They love him like you use to.  Please watch over him for me I am so proud of him for going into the military but also scared for him.  Just please keep him safe.  We need him to keep your sisters straight since you're not here..but you know they're a handful..HAHA.  Son our hearts still have the hurt of you not being here and sometimes it feels bad to have fun without you but we know that is what you would want us to do.  You wouldn't want us to be sad.  I can hear what you would tell us now.....but just know in our laughter and good times are ALWAYS the memory of you and things we all did together.  We love you and we miss you and one day we will all be able to be together again.  Until then remember you are always in our hearts and soul.  We love you.  Mom Close

Another Valentines Day without you  / Jane Jones (Mom)
Son how much I wish you were here to buy Matti her Valentines Day gift.  I made sure though she had some stuff from her daddy.  You know I would never let you down.  Her and I are going to take you some flowers out to your grave for Valentines.  I wish we could do so much more.  I miss you so much.  The talks and jokes we use to share they are never far from my heart but they make me miss you so much.  I need you laughter around at times but I know you have had alot to do with making sure my life worked out just fine.  You always took care of me when you were here and you have never felled to watch over me since you've been gone.  Your brother is having his going away party this weekend, you should have been able to be there with us to celebrate but fate didn't allow it.  I know one day I will understand it all but right now I know I miss you and this isn't fair.  I love you with all my heart and I always will.  Happy Valentines Day baby and give Lil Matthew a hug from his grandma. Close

Just passing through  / Ashley Jones Friend Of Adam Lutz

My heart still goes out to all of your friends and family.  I know it is a hard process to go through and once you think you have taken a step forward and having an easier day or week or month it's time for court and you take ten steps back.  Just remember that no matter how many times you have to relive that night it is some what worth it in the end.  To get some kind of justice for Matt!  You will all be in my thoughts and prayers as you are faced with trial and I hope everything goes your way.  Matt has a beautiful daughter and she looks just like him.  I am glad you all have her to carry on with.  It's times like these that family means the most, make sure you keep that special bond you all have now!  =)  The site is still beautiful as ever and you have done so much great work to it.  Keep it up!  May Justice Prevail For Matt, Adam, and all the other murdered victims. RIP!

Ashley

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Heartfelt sorrow  / Deborah Smith (I am not a relation )
This is an absolutely wonderful tribute to a beautiful young man, Matt.  I cannot express how very sad I am that your family is having to go through this awful process.  Our son Kurt was also killed at the hands of others, I wont go into details.  Please know there is life after this kind of loss, a different life of course.  It took me many many months to feel like I could face the world, and today I do via a 'mask'  however Kurt would be pleased I think to know we are moving forward in the utmost respect of his memory.   I refuse to be taken down by the evil forces that took our son, I simply refuse ! May your strength continue to grow as Matts wee daughter grows ( how gorgeous is she ?)

You are a strong family, I can just sense this, even though I have not had the fortune of meeting you.

Take good care of each other. 

Many blessings now and always
Deborah Smith Close

My heart goes out to the family.  / Candice Bishop (I wish I had the pleasure of knowing him... )
I have never met Matt.  In fact, I live in Detroit.  I ran across his memorial site and I was touched beyond belief.  I too lost someone I love to violence.  On 12/23/93 my fiance was brutally robbed and murdered and his killers have never been found.  At the time our son just turned 1yrs. old a couple of weeks before.  My son is now 15 and is the splitting image of his father.  He has no closure because his fathers murderers are still walking the  streets.  He was only 20 years old when he died.  He was my best friend in this world.  I have since married and had another child but, my heart still aches for my friend, my fiance, and or son.  It is wonderful to see how your family has rallied around little Matti.  My son doesn't have that support from his fathers family.  I have worked hard to shield him from this hard world but, the older he gets, the more I see that I can't.  I can just do MY best and love him enough for the both of us.  I will PRAY for you, your family and especially Matti from this day on and I hope you will do the same for me and my son.  MAY GOD BLESS US ALL!!! Close

Happy Birthday Matt!!  / Carol Pizzi (Angel Debbie's Mom )

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Merry Christmas Son  / Jane Jones (Mom)
This time of the year is always hard without you.  It was always your favorite time.  You had Christmas and your birthday all so close together and you knew it was always going to be special.  How many times I have prayed to have one more with you.  I can't believe that this is the third Christmas you have been gone.  So much has changed.  Your beautiful daughter grows more and more like you with each day that passes.  She has your wit and your wonderful smile.  God has blessed me with a loving close relationship with her just like I had with you.  This Christmas is going to be a good one for her I wish you were here to see it.  As I watch your friends who have become fathers too share their time with their children it makes me so sad knowing what a wonderful father you would have been to Matti.  I will always cherish the relationship that you and I had.  We couldn't have been closer and we couldn't have loved each other anymore.  That's fortunate in today's world even though I only had you for 19 years 10 months and 7 days.  You will always be close in my heart, your memory will never die and I will do everything possible to make sure Matti knows exactly who her father was.  I know at times I am selfish for wanting you here with me when you have a wonderful home in heaven that is beyond anything I can imagine.  I feel guilty for that sometimes but my heart misses you so much.  I hope that your Christmas in heaven is filled with all the joy I can imagine.  You will be in my heart and my thoughts Christmas as always.  I love you and miss you so much son.  You will always be with your mom no one could change that when you were here and it will never change now.  Merry Christmas Son.
Mom Close

Thinking of you  / Keith Jones (Dad)
Evening has come, and with it the bright colors of the sunset.  As I look toward the mountain ridge, I can see the sun as it falls behind the horizon.  The last of the blazing sun disappears, and like you son, it's brilliance continues to glow.  Though you've set into the Heaven's, your love, spirit and amazing heart still glow with all the beauty that your life on earth brought.  I remember the day God delivered you into this world. I thanked Him for blessing me with such a special gift.  When He took you home, I thanked Him for blessing you with a Heavenly home.  It's been two years since I last saw you on this earth.  I'll never forget that day.  I love you and miss you more than ever, but I thank God each day for the wonderful memories I'll always have of you.  The most amazing of these memories is in the heart and soul of the precious little girl you left us with.  Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday son.  Keep your arms wrapped tightly around all of us, and fill each of our hearts with the love, warmth and beauty that is your gentle spirit and loving soul.

All my love,
Dad Close

Sincerest Condolences  / Crystal (None)
To Jane and Family

I've been visiting this site frequently in hopes that justice would be served.  While the penalty of this heinous crime doesn't seem enough for the life sentence you all have to endure, I'm glad that at least you were spared the additional pain of a trial.   My heart breaks for Matt's daughter.  May she always know an special angel is watching over her as well as all of you.  May God bring you comfort and healing.

Sincerely

Crystal Close

2 years Today  / Jane Jones (Mom)
How can I explain what the last two years have been like without you.  Pure hell isn't good enoigh to describe it.  The pain of this day coming every year is awful, watching the clock remembering you were here at a certain time and where we were, then the time gets closer and I remember seeing you and Brittaney at the Exxon station and never knew that was the last time I would see you.  I remember being at Walmart and seeing the killers with the one who set this up, I remember being at moms when the call came in 8:46 pm, I remember the exact words Brittaney said and my world stopped.  I remember the weather and how at the scene I wanted you off that cold ground, I remember how I never thought this could be true.  The next two years I remember the pain of knowing you will never hug me again, you would never see your daughter, you would never got married, I never got another I love you mom.  I quit laughing, I quit feeling for awhile I walked around numb, nothing mattered anymore, you were gone forever and I wanted to be too.  I promised you justice and we as a familky worked until we got what they call justice but it didn't make us feel any better.  The truth you will never come back and that's the only thing that can make us whole again like we were.  I have watched your brother and sisters be so hurt and lost without you, I have tried to comfort them but it hasn't helped anymore than people trying to comfort me.  The realization is there will always be something missing in our hearts and lives and that is you.  Every year we will remember, every time we watch Matti play we will remember, every time we see something that looks like you we will remember and that will never end.  You left a legacy for us though, you taught us so much and for the memories and the lessons we are thankful.  I do not regret any of the 19 years I had with you son.  You and I had a relationship that was open, honest and true.  I am proud to be your mom.  I wish that I could have had you the rest of my life because that is the way it should be but I know you are with God and waiting for me.  I know you watch over me as well as the rest of your family and friends, we see the signs everyday.  I will love you until the day I leave this earth and we are joined again in eternity son.  Until then know that my heart and soul even though they are broken will always carry you and your memories.  I love you and I miss you. Close

Thinking of you Matt.  / Beverly Brown (Thomas Allen) (Visitor)

xxxx

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